


Lost in the Woods

by saintgenevieve



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Love Confessions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:47:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21556468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saintgenevieve/pseuds/saintgenevieve
Summary: Garrus turned toward her and took her face between his hands, bright eyes intense on hers. “Shepard, I volunteered for this. I’d follow you to the ends of the universe and back if that’s what you needed. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had in this rotten galaxy, and I’d take on an entire army of husks if it meant having your back. I’m not afraid to love you, Elizabeth—and if I die, then I’ll go down doing what I was made to do: watching your six.”
Relationships: Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian, past Female Shepard/Kaidan Alenko
Comments: 3
Kudos: 30





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Everyone who’s ever loved me has died, Garrus.”

The _Normandy_ was silent as a tomb, most of the crew asleep, resting as best as they could with the threat of the Reapers and the Collectors and the suicide mission hanging over them. But Elizabeth Shepard couldn’t sleep. She couldn’t stand lying alone in her bed in the cabin, staring up at the boundless void, scattered with cold, distant stars. With an annoyed huff, she left her bed and decided to find something to drink.

One cold elevator ride later she was on the crew deck. After stealing two bottles of expensive liquor from the bar on the observation deck—purposefully avoiding Kasumi’s smirk—she made her way to the gunnery and the only person she wanted to talk to.

Garrus, rather predictably, was still awake, alert, and calibrating. He’d changed out of his armor though and wore instead a pair of loose pants and a soft-looking tunic. Shepard liked seeing him like this, more vulnerable than he usually allowed himself to be. She appreciated, for a moment, the lithe grace of his form—the long legs, the broad shoulders, the tapering waist, the sharp protrusion of his crest and the curve of his cowl. She didn’t mind that he wasn’t human, and, in fact, appreciated all the things that made them different.

“Are you just going to stand there staring?”

“What can I say? I like the view.”

Garrus chuckled and turned away from his work to look at her. His face looked oddly naked without the visor he always wore. “I hope one of those bottles is for me,” he said wryly.

“I don’t know,” she teased, moving forward to stand beside him. She bumped his hip with hers. “You think you can tear yourself away from your calibrations long enough to share a drink with me?”

He tilted his head and tapped his chin, obviously teasing her right back. “Maybe. I suppose my options are share a drink with a beautiful woman or spend the night by my lonesome?”

“Those are your options, yes,” Shepard agreed.

“Well, in that case, I’ll take the drink.”

So, they drank, sitting side by side on the floor, leaning back against the wall, their shoulders pressed together comfortably. Garrus had thrown a spare blanket over their legs, and the shared warmth put Shepard at ease as well as the wine in her bottle.

“I wasn’t born on Earth, you know.”

“I didn’t. Where then? A colony?”

“Mindior.”

Garrus winced, remembering the atrocities that had taken place there—the people slaughtered by slavers. “Damn, Shepard,” he said softly, feeling anything else would be inadequate or trite.

“I was sixteen, and I was all that was left of my family when the batarians were through. Everyone who’s ever loved me has died, Garrus.”

“Why tell me this?”

“I’m scared,” she whispered. “I don’t want to get you killed—you’re already scarred for life because of me. How can I ask you to take part in this suicide run while we’re…whatever we are?”

Garrus turned toward her and took her face between his hands, bright eyes intense on hers. “Shepard, I _volunteered_ for this. I’d follow you to the ends of the universe and back if that’s what you needed. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had in this rotten galaxy, and I’d take on an entire army of husks if it meant having your back. I’m not afraid to love you, Elizabeth—and if I die, then I’ll go down doing what I was made to do: watching your six.”

Shepard gazed up at him, took in his scarred cheek and mandible, his brow-plates drawn down over his eyes. “Are you sure?”

“If I’m sure of anything in this life, it’s you.”

“That’s the most romantic thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

Garrus chuckled and leaned down to press his forehead to hers. “Then you need to get out more.”

Shepard dissolved into giggles at the tension breaking and her turian drew her close to his chest and tucked his head over hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this fic is just me working out my feels about Mass Effect in general, and also Shakarian. I might add other ships as I go, but they're going to be the main pairing. Mostly, I just want to do little conversations that would have happened between Shepard and various other characters and explore her character.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s a good thing you’re pretty, Garrus.”

Garrus had been bracing himself for Shepard’s visit for the past few hours. She always made the rounds around the Normandy at about this time, and soon enough she’d be coming to the gunnery—presumably to tell him that his time as her lover had come to an end. Now that Kaidan Alenko was back on the ship and back under Shepard’s command, the turian could only assume that she would go back to the man she’d been with first. And he wasn’t angry, not really. Of course, Shepard would want someone closer to home now she had the option.

Finally, the gunnery doors opened, and Shepard slipped in. He turned to look at her, the small smile her mouth was quirked up in, the dreamy expression on her face, and turned away—his heart ached. Spirits, he’d miss her.

And then her arms wrapped around him from behind, hands moving over his waist suggestively. “Hello, sweetheart. Any chance I could tear you away from the guns in favor of some sparring? Or maybe just a tiebreaker?” There was a teasing tone to her voice—one that had taken him ages to parse out. Humans had no sub-vocals to make the meaning behind their words clear.

“I…uh…I’m not busy.” Shit, she’d be able to tell something was wrong. Shepard was better at reading him than any non-turian he’d ever met.

She didn’t pull away though and instead pressed herself closer against his back, arms tightening around him. “What’s wrong, Garrus?”

“It’s nothing, Commander. Really.”

She pinched his waist gently. “Don’t lie to me—talk to me. If something’s wrong, I need to know.”

Garrus bowed his head and raised one of his hands to hold hers. “Kaiden’s back.”

“Yeah. So?”

“Well, weren’t the two of you…together?”

“Yeah, but that was years ago. I died, and then he dumped me on Horizon and called me a traitor. You were there and looked like you were about to tackle him. I remember because you looked damn sexy trying not to rip him to pieces.”

Finally, Garrus turned in her arms and met her eyes. He loved the color of them—deep and green and full of fire. “I just thought…now he’s back…the two of you would…you know.”

Shepard raised one red eyebrow at him, disbelief written clear across her freckled face. “ _Seriously_?”

“Shepard—”

“Garrus, you incredible idiot, I’m not going to leave you—not for Kaiden, not for anyone. You’re stuck with me forever.”

“Forever, huh? I think I can live with that.”

Shepard leaned up and pressed her mouth against his. Though turians weren’t big kissers, he’d found himself quite enjoying it with Shepard. He would have missed it, had been preparing himself for the loss of her, but now…

“Spirits, I’m a moron. I was just going to let you go without a fight.”

She laughed. “It’s a good thing you’re pretty, Garrus.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in my first Mass Effect 1 playthrough I kinda accidentally romanced Kaidan, but sweet as he is, I like Garrus way more. But I kind of wondered if Garrus would be worried that Shepard might leave him for her ex in ME3, so I wanted to have them have that conversation.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I just…I need to know when I lost her—how I lost her.”

If Shepard could have anything in the universe, she’d wish that she’d stayed up in her cabin, lying in the dark beside her lover, not sneaking down to the mess for a midnight snack after several hours of delicious exercise with Garrus. But no, she just had to have some food.

“Tali, can you tell me how it happened?” Kaidan asked, leaning toward the quarian as she sat across from him in the mess.

She heaved a sigh and her shoulders slumped. “Are you sure you want to know?”

“I just…I need to know when I lost her—how I lost her.”

_Mortifying._

“Keelah, how to start? I guess…she helped Garrus with something. When he was a vigilante on Omega, his entire team was slaughtered because he was betrayed by one of his own men. Shepard helped track him down and then talked Garrus out of revenge and convinced him to spare the traitor’s life. After that, they were different. She took him on every ground mission—and once, when she left the gunnery, he was watching her leave looking flustered.” She paused. “You alright?”

“Yeah.” He sounded strained.

 _Deeply, horrifically mortifying. Jesus fucking Christ, I don’t want to be hearing this._ But Shepard was glued to the spot.

“They were together right before we went through the Omega 4 relay, and he slept in her cabin every night after that before Shepard turned herself into the Alliance. And he would look at her sometimes with such longing, such yearning written across his face—as though all he wanted was to take her in his arms and shield her from the world, but he knew he couldn’t. He never once doubted her, and he’s always had her back.” There was a dreamy tone to Tali’s voice as she spoke.

“She’s in love with him, isn’t she?”

“I don’t think there’s anyone or anything in the galaxy she loves more,” Tali said honestly.

“Shit.”

“I’m mostly telling you this because I’m trying to issue a warning: don’t mess with their relationship. Garrus makes Shepard happy—and she _needs_ that as she’s trying to hold the galaxy together. So, you must let her go. No matter how much it hurts.”

“You’re right. Of course, you’re right. I just wish…”

“Don’t,” Tali interrupted. “Wishing just makes it worse.”

Shepard wished she could hug Tali. She wished she’d never heard this conversation. Finally, she slipped back and was able to get to the elevator. She’d never be able to look Kaidan in the face again.

 _And that asshole dumped me_ , she thought, somewhat angrily. Oh, she was never taking him on a ground mission again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you romance Kaidan in the first game, then Garrus in the second game, Kaidan totally accuses you of cheating on him in ME3, even though you were dead for two years and then he was really mean to you. Like, seriously, what the fuck?


End file.
